For those out there who struggle with homework…

I get it.

I’m very smart and I love to learn but writing a paper makes me want to cry. Also when your life is falling apart, homework shows no mercy.

But you can get through this.

It’s one night more, it’s only five days till another weekend, it’s only a few more months till a break, a year will fly by before you know it.

School will be such a small part of your big life, but will reap rewards if done right and done well now. 

So do your best until it’s over, and then you are free to do whatever you want.

Now excuse me while I get back to writing…and crying…


Day 263

Spent half the day at church, taking care of kids and helping out at our food bank.

My dad left yesterday for Mexico for two weeks, leaving me at home alone with my mother. I hope I can maintain my sanity. We are already getting on each other’s nerves.

Ended the night baking disasters with the best friend. Our treats look awful, but at least they taste good!

I am very tired. I want a break from my life for a few days.


Day 262

After dealing with 6 children all around the age of 3 today who were not listening and causing complete chaos, I am tired of children. Too bad I work with them almost every day.

Feeling crummy today, tired, groggy, nothing fun.

Lots to do, lots to do.


Day 261

Took the strength finders test, definitely recommend! More info on that in weeks to come.

Met up with a lovely friend for coffee and pizza. She’s a cool person, and even though we’ve drifted apart over the years, I hope to reconnect the friendship and see her more often.

Been carb loading and drinking water all day, big run prepared for tomorrow.


tesw:

Daily Mindfulness 10/17/14 - Letting Go
 “Even in the greatest yogi, sorrow and joy still arise just as before. The difference between an ordinary person and the yogi is how they view their emotions and react to them. An ordinary person will instinctively accept or reject them, and so arouse the attachment or aversion that will result in the accumulation of negative karma. A yogi, however, perceives everything that rises in its natural, pristine state, without allowing grasping to enter his perception.” -Sogyal Rinpoche
 Mindfulness Practice for the Day: Today, just allow things to arise and fall naturally. Practice letting go of grasping and averting.

tesw:

Daily Mindfulness 10/17/14 - Letting Go


“Even in the greatest yogi, sorrow and joy still arise just as before. The difference between an ordinary person and the yogi is how they view their emotions and react to them. An ordinary person will instinctively accept or reject them, and so arouse the attachment or aversion that will result in the accumulation of negative karma. A yogi, however, perceives everything that rises in its natural, pristine state, without allowing grasping to enter his perception.”
-Sogyal Rinpoche


Mindfulness Practice for the Day: Today, just allow things to arise and fall naturally. Practice letting go of grasping and averting.


Day 260

Slept in cause school is overrated! (Just kidding I was just super tired) I stayed up too late watching the Half the Sky documentary and thinking about how much I want to empower women.

Heard back from the interview and didn’t get the job, but I did receive and email back from the organization I want to volunteer with and I can start training in January. That’s way better than a job anyways!

Spent some time with the best friend. She was driving over to surprise her girlfriend with some romantic presents and I tagged along. We spent 2 hours simply driving through traffic and had lots of time to talk.

Watching her go the extra mile just to make her girlfriend happy made me wish someone would do that for me, and made me think about waiting for someone who will actually do that kind of stuff. I deserve someone who will go out of their way to put me first, I think we all deserve someone who will do that.

I also enjoyed hearing all about everything she’s thinking about. She’s gone through hell, and continues to struggle and fight every day of her life, but she does it with immense courage. She works hard at her recovery, at her sobriety, at her health, her happiness, and making life comfortable for those around her. And she reaches out to others who are also along a similar journey to offer them advice and support. We have both been on a path to recovery together this past year and I am so goddamn proud of how far we have both come.

Now I am home: Writing emails, redoing my art website, confirming tomorrow’s plans, and writing this blog post. Two-hundred and sixty days. I feel like a different person. I feel good.


1) You are allowed to take up space. You are a human.

2) You are allowed to have a voice.

3) You are allowed to leave whenever you feel unsafe or uncomfortable.

4) You deserve more than someone who doesn’t know how to respect you.

5) You are allowed to put your own needs first.

6) You are allowed to love yourself.

6:11 p.m. (Six reminders for bad times)

(via north-west-soul)


Self care is not selfish
My therapist (via north-west-soul)

You will have days where you feel better, and you will have days where you want to die. Both are okay, There is no magical cure. You just need to close your eyes, and trust that the waves will pass, and soon you’ll be able to breathe again
reminders (via apocalyptic-bliss)

(via north-west-soul)



Day 259
Got new running shoes, went to an interview, and spent most of the day with one of my best friends and her daughter.
These two are like family to me. I’ve watched my friend grow into a beautiful young woman since I first met her at 14, and her daughter, who I held the day after she was born, is already over 3 months. Needless to say, I love the people in my life. And I am so grateful to have them.


Day 258

Met up with two friends I haven’t seen in a long time today, which made everything better :)

Got an interview for a job at Chipotle tomorrow! Wish me luck!

Found some wonderful pictures of Haiti from the photographer in Maryland who was visiting when I was on my trip there. His photos are beautiful and I am so impressed with his talent. The personalities of the children are captured so beautifully I teared up just looking at some of them. I miss everyone I met there so much.

I watched a documentary called Blood Brother the other night about a guy who moves to India to live in an orphanage with kids who suffer with HIV and AIDS. He was just meant to live in India, and I think I am meant to live somewhere international too. However as of right now, I think I will simply have to settle for summer trips until I earned a degree or am able to get an internship. But the reality that I will be moving and living and growing in other places is enough to keep my spirits up.

I am finally growing into myself, into my heart, into my desires, and it feels damn good.


Day 257

Woke up with terrible neck pain and stayed inside most of the day because of it.

Work went well and I had some nice chats with friends to end the evening. I’m grateful for good company.

I think I’m done hoping for anything with B. I think we will always live in separate worlds. I only hope we stay friends over the years.


You were born with the ability to change someone’s life - don’t ever waste it.

What I say to myself when I wake up every morning…

1. What do you need to get done today?

2. How are you going to help others today?

3. What relationships are you going to cultivate today?

4. How can I step out of my comfort zone today?

5. Today I am choosing to be positive.

6. I have people who love me and believe in me.

7. Today my mission is…